Saturday, September 19, 2009

Reflecting in Peace

I am living for love and giving all that i got. I AM listening to I am songs, I Am whatever you say I am, I am the one, I am not my hair, I'm like a bird i wanna fly away I AM: the same dreamer i have always been since i was born. I am my mama in so many ways but not. I AM just beginning to spread my wings and as i do i see all the moments of being a caged bird. I Am someone that refuses to ever let fear or rage dictate my life. I am stronger everyday therefor thankful for even the pain, heart ache, strife and lessons learned thus far. I Am a protector to all that i love, would ride till the end for my fam n friends, and jsut beginning to protect myself in the same way. I AM not the average girl in the video my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes. And i am not my hair is usually what i think when i look at my reflection. There is nothing like a reflection to see your self, looking in the mirror, a look back at a year, making amends with the past, realizing your own evolution, and finding your grace. Between snap shots there are forgotten moments that make those pictures worth a magnet on your fridge. I tried to make it hidden, didnt wanna let myself shine, theres been time i wasnt comfortable in my own skin, ive let myself be fooled into thinking i was a victim, been a slave to guilt, n even questioned if life was worth it, and hurt myself with self hatred, been blinded by love, been stuck on what was, and somehow have always rised above.

Wiser than my years, made amends with faith, been cheated, felt defeated, been stressed, forgotten I Am blessed, shed lots of tears, felt that i was too weird for this earth, but always had an inner peaceful i want to heal the world mentality since birth.

Advice that i tell myself to get through that i feel like sharing with you: Your worth is not determined by what you have and there are no conditions to being happy you are always worthy of being happy. Never compare yourself to others we all have our own path, be inspired but remember that you determine where you are, Your attitide determines your latitude. And to all the other dreamers that dont sleep, freedom fighters who seek to change the world, to people who have had my back, I aint mad atcha= i appreciate ya

When im praising you I'm praising me When I'm praisen me I'm praien you. No neglecting just excepting and Reflecting back to you.

Ealier this year I felt unsettled and at times didnt recognize the (wo)man in the mirror, I had faltered in my faith and forgot that god is in everything, and if change is constant then god is change (just got that from Siaira and it resonated) I feel like that falter that felt like. Downward spiral that would never end was there to teach me this.n that God for that. Cause although i am sure there will be more battles, more struggles, for hard times, I know I'm a little stronger from those experienced thus far.

So for the first time in along time I'm taking fresh steps in my own shoes, walking like a peaceful warrior, and doing it all with in faith, with peace, and knowing there is so much more in store in the days.weeks,and months to come.

Last night I finally broke up with all those things that felt like chains, Its a new day im feeling free feeling good please dont let me be misunderstood, I am still filled with love but working on truly loveing me and then well see...

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